Posts Tagged ‘Vanity Fair’

29th March
2013
written by Sean Noble

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The cover of the February 2013 issue of Vanity Fair (I was in the waiting room, ok?) has a headline that screams “SEX SCANDAL IN BUSH’S BACKYARD!”  The headline is in all caps, has two words italicized, and uses three colors.

The clear intent is to make anyone who sees the cover think that either the 41st or 43rd president engaged in inappropriate sexual behavior, or that is somehow connected to it.

Knowing that neither of these can be true, I read the article and, sure enough, the scandal has nothing to do with either President Bush or any member of the Bush family.  As far as their backyard, the Bush family’s yard apparently encompasses a large portion of Maine.

You see, the story was about Alexis Wright, the Zumba Madam of Kennebunk.  The Bush family owns a compound in nearby Kennebunkport.  No member of the Bush family is involved in any way.  In fact, “Bush” appears only three times in the article: once in the teaser paragraph, “Many in the picturesque Maine town of Kennebunk—a short trip from the Bush-family compound—knew that the sweet, friendly Zumba teacher was leading a double life”; once in the fourth paragraph, “Wright’s choice of a locale in which to conduct her affairs was either inspired or twisted or both, depending on your point of view: the lovely, quaint seaside town of Kennebunk, Maine, population 10,798, home of Tom’s of Maine toothpaste, the heart of the land originally settled by the Puritans, just a hop, skip, and jump from Kennebunkport, where the Bush family has its Walker’s Point summer compound”; and one last time toward the middle of the article.  It is the third and final mention that is most irritating.  The entire paragraph is below.

“But what really made the story of the ‘Zumba Madam’ go viral was Wright’s meticulous recordkeeping. Thanks to that, prosecutors can do something they often can’t in this type of case: figure out who the alleged johns were and charge them with crimes, too. The record of who did what has become known simply as “The List”—at one point, it was rumored to include 174 names—and the tantalizing prospect of finding out who is on it caused a feeding frenzy among the national media, from the Today show to Good Morning America to CNN. ‘The town was literally under siege,’ says Laura Dolce, the editor of the local paper, the York County Coast Star. ‘You couldn’t walk down Main Street without being hounded by media. You couldn’t go into a coffee shop without reporters’ trying to overhear what people were talking about.’ Who might be on the list? A member of the Bush family? Someone from the Secret Service? General Petraeus? Dolce says that she was asked about all three. The answers were no, no, and no. But, really, it could have been—and could still be—anyone.”

Translation: Bush didn’t do it . . .but, I mean, he’s so awful he could have!  And remember, that General Petraeus guy had an affair!

This is beyond the pale.  There are prostitutes in Washington, D.C.  Are they in Obama’s backyard?  There are prostitutes in New York, where Vanity Fair is headquartered.  Is there a SEX SCANDAL IN VANITY FAIR’S LOBBY?! (actually, there probably is…)

The vileness of the article doesn’t stop at Bush-bashing.  These words actually appear in the article “And there may be some stereotypical, yet satisfying, hypocrisy: one of the men billed his house-building business as ‘A Christian Family Owned Company.’ ”

Really?  Does author Bethany McLean dislike Christians so much that she’s “satisfied” when one falls so far from grace?  That man may have children, his family may be torn apart.  But hey, at least Ms. McLean is satisfied.

Do yourself a favor next time you see Vanity Fair in a waiting room: just stare at the wall.